Are you trying to win a new contract and don’t know how to connect with your client? Are you having a hard time explaining a new policy change to the managers in your company? Do you find it difficult to communicate with your boss?
Some people are really great communicators. Others are not. Why is that? What is it that makes the difference? The difference has less to do with communicating, and more to do with connecting. The difference is not so much in what you say or do, as in how you make people feel. The words and actions are important to an extent, but what really makes the difference is your attitude, your heart, that you value the person or group of people you are trying to talk to.
If you resent the ones you are communicating with, if you don’t value them, it doesn’t matter how perfect your presentation is and how well prepared your speech is. They’ll know you’re not there for them, and consciously or unconsciously, they’ll close themselves off to what you have to say. If all you care about is you or what benefits you get, how you look, how you sound, or how much money you’ll make, then it does not really matter what words or actions you use. If you don’t have integrity, honesty and a caring attitude, if you lack respect for the other person, you’ll never be able to convince them of the opposite.
But if you put them first, if you show genuine respect, if you look up to them, if you are honestly there to add value, they will sense it and be much more open to anything you have to say.
All day, and every day, we are all trying to communicate and connect with others, whether at home, at work, or out with friends. Start with an attitude of caring, respect, and a real and genuine desire to help and add value. Then, not only will you be able to win that contract, get the managers to get behind the new policy changes, and get through to your boss, but your life and your relationships will benefit as well.
The Beatles were right when they sang,
All You Need Is Love.